It’s scary to see people go around shooting ex-lovers after breaking up. Makes me wonder if breaking up means you have to hate your ex’s guts and give him the kiss of death. Of course not everyone can remain friends after the relationship has ended, but being able to end it well reflects your ability to handle things.
Some tips breaking-ups:
- Build up the finale- give hints and tips ahead, drift apart slowly to allow space and time for him/her to accept the fact and the reason (Start going out less with excuses like “I’m busy” or “I’m tired”. He’ll get it and realize the day will come sooner or later, then it’s time to give him the reason)
- Do it in person- Give him/her some respect, via phone/emails/text/IM is just too IMPERSONAL
- Don’t blame- avoid personal attacks, a little less “you” a little more “I”. Instead of “You have many problems” try “I feel like we don’t get a long etc”
- Time & Place- Never do it at home, it’s too awkward and you never know what happens (especially if there are only two of you) Go somewhere semi-public, such as a cafe or a quiet corner of a restaurant. Never do it in a rushed lunch hour or late at night when both of you are tired.
The worst way:
- Unexpected, along with nothing but “It’s over” and walk away. This is not determined, but irresponsible.
However, if he/she does not take a hint, and continues to reconcile, then you should just stay away from him. NEVER call him or meet him to discuss further. You have expressed yourself clearly and given enough respect. More talks or “let’s just be friends for now” would just give him/her false hopes that there’s still a chance to get back together. (He/She might get the impression of “You still miss me.” What you should do is to make sure your mutual friends are looking after him and pay attention to his moods.
Whether ultimately the two can become friends depends on the maturity of minds.